They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
