she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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