Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
