you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Sorry about my life...
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
