I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
