I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
