So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Terrible idea I love it
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
