Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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