yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
