"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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