Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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