listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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