Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
