I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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