State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Randomize
