Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Boobs speak an international language.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
