Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
