well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
