hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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