you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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