I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
