As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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