you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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