More tranny stories later!
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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