I think i peed on brittanys purse
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
