why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
