We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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