If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
