i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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