That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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