Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
