Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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