also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
