I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
