im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
