drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
