I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
