dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
