things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
