Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
