You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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