she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
