Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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