She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
