just survived the first fart of the relationship.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
