She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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