if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
