So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
