YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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