Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
