Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
