Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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