if only i could text you this smell
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
We are two peas in an std pod
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
