..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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