So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
