my sisters under your porch take her home
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
