Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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