i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
